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Wow, this is scary
interesting. The real scary thing is that this is endorsed
by the 'Burning Man Project'. What do they really hope to
achieve by creating this toll road? I see a potential for a
few things if this comes into creation. |
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1) Increased Traffic
- I believe (though can't confirm) that the main thing that
the Gerlach and Empire residents complain about the most is
the increased traffic on NV440 during Burning Man. This toll
road will only increase the traffic by creating a stopping
point and bottle-neck (four or two lanes turning into one). |
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2) Police
Involvement - We've all seen the increased law enforcement
presence on NV440 during Burning Man, pulling people over
for going five miles over the speed limit (not always, but
it's been reported). This gives law enforcement an
opportunity to discover 'probable cause' and initiate a
search. I would not be surprised to see an increased law
enforcement presence at this proposed toll booth. Coronado
Bay Bridge used to have a toll booth on Coronado, which has
since been closed. The building located there is still used
as a hub for local law enforcement and CHP. |
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3) Funding - The
financial plan of the toll roads seems a little strange. It
plans on giving .63 to residents per vehicle. I'm going to
work from estimates right now. 49,599 people attended
Burning Man last year. The occupants of a vehicle vary from
people flying solo to entire buses full of people. So, to
average it out, I'm going to say that two people where in
each vehicle. That leaves 24,799 vehicles and approximately
$17k supposedly going to the citizens of Gerlach and Empire.
The population of Gerlach-Empire is 499 as of the 2000
Census. That is about $35 per citizen per year. |
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I see there’s a
wonderful offer for power this year.
It indicates that its only for theme camps.
I imagine that’s because you’ll know in advance where
the camps will be and can run the line accordingly.
No opportunities for us non-theme campers? |
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Scotto, It gets better every year. Lots of
laughs courtesy of SBS. |
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Dear Playapharm - I am graduating with
my doctorate in pharmacy in May, and will be a licensed
pharmacist at the playa (theme camp TBA).
I would love to help out at playapharm...please let
me know what I can do... |
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Playa Pharm is total
bullshit, Scott. Why are you promoting and SALES site?
What the fuck does an "on-playa pharmacy" have to do
with Burning Man? |
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I'd be interested in
reading your response remembering, of course, that the whole
philosophy of Burning Man is NO SALES.
Yeah, I get that they supposedly won't be taking $$
on playa (they better not, or their camp will be burned to
the ground) but it is the same thing if they are taking
orders on playa and delivering there as well, which they
are. Waiting for Your Response. |
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I am sending you a
response to your very poignant message about PlayaPharm.
We take all inquiries and comments very seriously.
The real issue here is that you may be, no you are
unaware that today is April Fool's - The best part of today is....I GOT
YOU!!!! - You sure did, brother.
Hook Line and Sinker. |
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Awesome.
It took me all day to figure out that this was an
April fools joke! |
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Larry should visit
Pleasure Garden 09 because we will shelter him under the
geometrEL dome, give him powdered lemonade (you know, with
ice and water mixed in) and put sunscreen on his body.
Although our women are mostly in their 20's, they
still act like they're 19, so he should almost feel like
he's in his own motorhome. Besides,
if he visits us, we can shit in his hat. |
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HAHAHAHAHA
you had me for a while |
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This toll road
sounds dumb. 0.69 out of $20 goes to the local community?
Really? |
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I like the business
loop thing better. I'd rather give the whole of my $20 to
Bruno's and another $20 to the general store. sheeeeit. |
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Now if they offered
hot showers at the end with a foot massage (with optional
happy ending) ... and a carwash... all for the $20, then it
would be worth it. |
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Seriously though -
what would really rock would be to have a temporary station
and a have the bus camp folks run a shuttle service to
camps. |
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The railway line
runs through the playa...
That could seriously reduce the number of cars and
make it relatively inexpensive to transport all your shite
to the playa in a pretty green manner.
Of course the line for buses would be pretty
horrendous on Sunday/Monday :)
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Great... I did all
that math and I STILL didn't get the joke. I need a
vacation, I'm taking things way to serious... |
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Thanks ,Scotto .
Always a pleasure to hear from you on this day .
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For Christ sake!
Talk about your pork projects! All this for three weeks out
of the year? The folks in Gerlach and Empire bitch and moan,
but the three weeks of Burning man makes their businesses
viable. What a waste... |
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Dear Sir Jim of Bob
- This is a brief
transatlantic message to say thanks for brightening an
otherwise pretty disastrous week with your
skillfully-crafted 'win a Larry visit' invitation of two
days ago. I had begun to complete your exquisitely
unspeakable form, abandoning it in exasperation before page
2 and before I noticed the date. And then I laughed with
joy. I was actually
relishing the prospect of submitting an impossible-to-
resist application including (of course) a story of exactly
3,845 words. The process fitted my desire to stimulate
heated political debate about the relationship of news media
to the State amongst my colleagues on the Black Rock Beacon,
so I'm sorry it's a wind-up. But I guess I can still use
your stuff to further my cunning plan. I haven't checked
out all the contents of your website, but so far I'm deeply
impressed. As the author of a modest portfolio of spoofs, I
salute you. all the best from London, UK, |
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You never fail to
fool on April 1! I love the stuff you posted, especially
this one! Hilarious! |
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Oh, so I can bring
my dog but not my cat? That's fair. I think we're lacking a
bit in equality here... Might want to round up the theme
camp leaders for that task. They tend to excel at cat
herding. |
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I love this one
too! My fave will always be the port-o prepaid
cards...people were upset at town hall and grumbling about
it. Love u Scotto |
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Good job as always Scotto! |
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will you carry c-II
as well or not; I'm on opioids for chronic pain, and have
valid rxs but hate bringing that much stuff with me; is it
possible to get it from you with enough notice; duragesic
100mcg #5.
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Those are funny as
hell Scotto, you outdid yourself! I think the win a visit
w/Larry is too funny. |
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Over the top Scotto! |
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April Fools Day rocks. |
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My first thought
this morning when I woke up was--O goody I wonder what
Scotto has done. Thanks so much for keeping the important
days alive. |
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This is horrible.
These kind of changes signify the end of Burning Man as I
have loved it. |
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Haha - I know
these are prank sites but some of them are pretty good
ideas! I would
love to take home the gold in the BRC Olympics.
Glad to see that you are keeping the tradition alive.
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